


The Massage

by JayceCarter



Series: Kinktober 2018 [29]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Kinktober 2018, Massage, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 05:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16443539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JayceCarter/pseuds/JayceCarter
Summary: Shepard falls asleep during a massage and lets Thane know too much. How will they deal with the truths neither of them had been ready to admit?





	The Massage

**Author's Note:**

> Kinktober Day 29: Sleep sex
> 
> Okay, so, no smut here. SORRY. It ended up long and I needed to get it up so it wasn't late, lol, so this kinktober piece has no real kink.

  
  


Thane offered a smile to Jane, hoping it might reassure her. “Trust me, please?”

She released the sigh he knew meant he won before she stretched out on his bed on her stomach. She wore what he’d suggested, shorts and a thin top, items he could work around with ease.

He walked over and sat on the bed beside her, having left his coat hanging on a hook by the door. The first touch of his hands to her shoulders had her flinching.

Ah. He frowned as he understood. “I would not harm you, siha. I realize perhaps allowing someone who has killed people for a living might make you feel ill-at-ease, but I assure you, I would never-”

She shook her head to cut him off. “No. It’s not that.”

“Then what it is? I do know what I am doing. Human anatomy is not unknown to me, and the pain in your shoulder will ease after a massage.” He kept his hands off her until she agreed.

While the idea that she feared him did not set right, he understood it. Funny, because she was one of only two people who he would kill for, who he would do anything to protect.

“I’m really not afraid of you, Thane. I just don’t really have people doing this to me much.”

“Massaging?”

“Touching me.” The words came from her throat, thick and quiet and full of something he couldn’t quite identify.

“Would you like me to stop? I do not wish for you to be uncomfortable with this.”

She shuddered as a soft breath left her lips, but shook her head, folding her arms in front of her and setting her cheek on them, faced away from him. “No. You’re right. Thanks.”

He hesitated at the uncertainty in her voice. Still, he trusted her to know what she wanted.

Thane returned his hands to her shoulders, and while the muscles twitched beneath the touch, she didn’t react any further. He allowed his hands to follow the patterns he’d learned.

Knowing how best to defeat an enemy was similar to knowing how to help a friend. He understood the human form, knew the muscles, the nerves, the ligaments. Knowing them enabled him to cause pain, but they also meant he knew how to ease it.

He used his thumbs to work loose knots, more than just the ones around the shoulder she’d injured. When she didn’t stop him, he kept the massage going. He worked over her shoulders, her back. He pulled her shirt up slightly to reveal her back, her ribs, the scars from the Lazarus project. His hands made short work of the tense muscles there.

Next, he shifted down the bed to her lower half. He ignored any pleasure he got from the action, focused only on aiding her. She need not know how he felt, needn’t know how much more he wanted from her.

He kept his mind on the task at hand. His thumbs dug into her arches, into her ankles, her calves. By the time he reached her thighs, a soft snore left her.

His lips tipped up as he took a moment to take in the sight. Her head had turned toward him at some point, her face lax and easy in a way it was never when awake. It was as if sleep had stolen all her worries, all her obligations until she could be at peace.

Her lips parted, a soft sound, and he wished to lean down and press his own to hers. What would her lips feel like? Soft, he was sure. It had been so long since he had indulged in such a thing, so long since he’d last felt any desire to.

He pushed aside that want. Jane had never seemed to wish any sort of romantic entanglements. Rumors aboard the Normandy flew faster than the ship, and he’d heard of her turning down Kaidan, Liara, Garrus, and so many others. It seemed she had no desire for such things in her life, and if he tried to get such things, he might lose her as a friend.

He had not had a friend in so long, he’d rather her however he could have her.

Thane returned to working on her thighs, touches softer than before to allow her to rest. He worked loose the knots with gentle coaxing.

Her thighs parted, a louder sound on her lips. That sound was more difficult to ignore than the last. Even with Thane’s non-existent recent sex life, the moan of a woman was a sound he’d never forget.

His tongue swiped across his lips to wet them before he moved to her other leg, trying to keep his gaze from dipping between her thighs, trying to remain professional.

Another moan left her, a subtle rock of her hips toward his mattress.

Worse? Or perhaps better? Her scent.

She was aroused. The scent filled his nostrils. How would he ever sleep in that bed again? Each time he’d think only of that smell, of her sound, and sleep would never come.

“Thane,” she moaned his name, sound broken on her lips.

His fingers brushed her crotched, and he yanked his hands back. He hadn’t even noticed they had drifted hip her thigh, too focused on the sounds she made, the smell, the screaming in his skull that demanded he do something.

He pulled in a shaky breath before rising off the bed, putting distance between them. They should have done this in her room. In her quarters he could have left, snuck out and been discrete.

Now? Now he needed to wake her.

“Siha?”

She shifted on the bed, another roll of her hips as if her body sought something. It did though, didn’t it? “Please, Thane.”

He drew his hands into fists. “Jane.” This time he snapped the name, needing her to wake. His control was good, but even it had its limits.

She jerked up, sleep clouding her eyes. It made her look confused, innocent in a way he’d never seen. She gazed around the room, eyebrows drawn together until she landed on him. “I fell asleep?”

He nodded. No reason to tell her the rest. What one felt when asleep was one thing, and no representation of how they felt awake. Knowing would only cause stress between them and embarrassment for her. “You dozed off. It is not uncommon.”

She rolled her shoulder, lips spreading into a smile that made him think of the sounds those lips had made. “It’s better already. You were right, Thane.” She rose to her feet. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” He nodded, taking a step backward when she approached.

Her frown caused an ache in his chest.

Still, she kept her distance. “Right. Um, well, I guess I’ll go.” She nodded toward the door, moving slow as if she expected him to stop her.

He didn’t. Best she left and gave him time to rebuild those defenses her moaned pleas had crumbled. “Goodnight, Shepard.”

#

 

A week and Thane was still acting strangely.

Try as she might, Jane couldn’t figure it out. She’d sent word for him in the evening, hoping for the usual late night conversation she cherished. Each time, he’d respond that he wasn’t feeling well, that he needed rest.

Was it his illness?

Jane had had enough. She opened the door to his quarters, ignoring that he’d left it locked. If he was sick, if he needed something, he wasn’t going to just ignore her.

He didn’t rise from his place on the floor, back straight, chest bare, sweat catching the light. He’d been exercising, she’d guess. “Did you need something?”

The relaxed tone of his voice had her temper slipping. “Why are you avoiding me?”

His head tilted, eyes still. Thane didn’t lie, not to her. He could bend the truth like an acrobat, but he didn’t outright lie to her. “I have been busy.”

“No, you haven’t. Did I do something wrong? Piss you off somehow?”

“No, siha. Nothing.”

“Then what is it? Are you not feeling well? Is it your illness?”

“No, nothing like that-”

“-because I don’t care about that. If you’re sick, if you’re feeling bad, you should tell me-”

“-I assure you, I am feeling fine-”

“-You matter to me, Thane, and I don’t care if you’re sick-”

“-I’m not sick!” His voice lifted into a yell that silenced her.

He never yelled at her, never raised his voice at anyone. Thane was steady, detached, unshakable.

His sharp voice shook her. She took a step away from him, from the hurt at the unusual behavior.

“Siha,” he said, voice so soft it came out a whisper like it could balance his previous words.

Jane shook her head. “Sorry I bothered you.” She turned to leave while she still held a little of her dignity.

“Wait, please-”

She left him behind, rushing from his room, having no idea how she’d messed it all up and only feeling the ache in her chest from the loss.

 

#

  


EDI, always one willing to insert herself into the personal lives of the crew, had only been too willing to open Jane’s door when Thane asked. He doubted she’d open it on her own, but the AI, privy to their many conversations, had seemed to understand the nature of a complicated relationship.

Thane entered Jane’s quarters slowly, not wishing to intrude if she were not prepared for company. After what had already happened, he didn’t need to wander upon her naked.

Jane sat on her couch, gaze moving over to Thane before glaring at the ceiling. “EDI, I swear I’ll let Joker reprogram your voice if you try that again.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” EDI’s voice filled the room.

“I had one mother, I don’t need another sticking her nose in my business.” Jane muttered the words softly before turning her attention to Thane. “I thought we said everything we needed to say already.”

He sighed, folding his hands behind him, tucking them together to pull together his courage. “No, I’m afraid we did not.”

Jane didn’t soften. “You made it clear you didn’t have anything else to say to me. You avoided me for days, then shouted me out of your room. I got the message, Thane. Loud and clear.”

He listened. Not just to her words, but to the pain laced through them. His fists clenched. “Allow me to explain myself, please.”

“You don’t owe me that.”

“I owe you that and more, siha.” He pushed past the flinch at the term of endearment he’d given her, the one which normally drew a smile. “I do not wish for this strife between us.”

“It’s fine.”

“It is not fine-”

“-You don’t need to do this-”

“-Listen to me, please-”

“-Just go-”

“-You moaned my name during the massage.” Thane tossed the truth between them when nothing else seemed to work.

She froze, eyes going wide, that hard look she’d had slipping away. “What?”

Thane shifted his gaze to the floor. “When you fell asleep as I worked on you, you moaned my name.”

“Maybe you misheard. . .”

“No, siha. I had wished to save you the embarrassment of this, but you insisted we speak so I will not lie. You moaned my name more than once. The nature of the dream you had was obvious. I avoided you afterward because I feared you would realize something was amiss in my behavior.” He risked a glance up at her.

She ran her fingers through her hair, pushing it away from her face. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“I know. I am not angry with you, I just wished to save you embarrassment. I’m not foolish; I know the thoughts one has when they dream are not grounded in reality. I’m not uncomfortable, I promise.”

She opened her mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. “Right. Okay.”

He frowned. He wanted to ask her why she hesitated, what she wished to say. They’d been close so recently, yet now it seemed a galaxy had crept between them.

Instead of pushing his luck, he bowed slightly. “I should go. Goodnight, siha.”

#

The next day, Jane could hardly move her shoulder. Her sleep had been fitful and more tossing and turning than rest.

She couldn’t stop thinking about Thane.

Yes. . . she’d been well aware of the dreams that had started weeks back. Who could blame her, really? She had little time for romance or sex, yet was surrounded by attractive, virile males. That would wear on anyone.

And when she’d spent more time with Thane, when they sparred, when they ate meals together and spoke, she’d found her dreams and fantasized monopolized.

So, it hadn’t shocked her that she’d dreamed about him. With him there, touching her, his scent in the room, all of it would lend itself to filthy dreams.

She even remembered the dream. He’d grasped her thighs and taken her against the wall outside of her quarters, too eager to make it past the elevator and into the privacy of her room. She’d begged him for more as he’d teased her with thrusts too slow.

Jane turned and paced the length of the CIC again, trying to push away the frustration, the embarrassment, the vain hope.

Thane hadn’t spoken like someone without interest. He’d talked to like a man who wanted something he was afraid to ask for.

Did that mean Thane was interested? Or was it the general interest of any male when faced with a woman he could potentially sleep with? Thane wasn’t the sort to fall into bed with just anyone, but she didn’t know what that meant.

She turned when she reached the end, ready for yet another pass, to try and work out the tension running through her. Except, she didn’t find her path behind her but the same drell she’d been thinking of.

Thane’s hands caught her so she didn’t crash into him, but the action pulled a gasp from her when it aggravated her shoulder. His gaze narrowed on the spot. “Are you in pain?”

“It’s fine.”

He moved his fingers over the shoulder, one hand reaching around her to slid against her shoulder blade. “The knots are worse. What happened?”

“I slept wrong.”

His eyebrow ridge lifted, but he kept his gaze down on her shoulder. “Come to my quarters. I can ease your shoulder again.”

“Maybe that’s not such a good idea.”

His fingers slowed but didn’t pull away. “I helped the last time.”

“I don’t think my pride can take another hit, Thane.”

He pulled her closer so their voices wouldn’t carry. “Let me help. Have a cup of coffee before you arrive. You will not fall asleep, and your pride will remain intact.”

Jane turned her face up toward his, searching for something, for some sign he felt what she did. She darted her tongue out to wet her bottom lip.

Thane’s gaze zeroed in on the action, and he leaned forward as if to cross the distance. As quickly as it happened, he straightened.

It meant he felt something. . .

He shook his head, then let his fingers stroke across her jawline. “Please, siha, allow me this?”

She agreed, able to pull in a full breath when he moved away from her. They decided to meet in his quarters that evening.

And Jane damn well planned to work out more than just her shoulder.

 

#

 

Thane faced away from the door when it opened. Jane had shown up a few minutes late, as usual, so he finished replacing his weapon on the shelf.

“I’m glad you decided to allow me to . . ..” He turned to find her already on his bed, face down, though the sight stilted his words. She wore no shirt, the bare expanse of her back on display. The edges of her vertebrae, the sharp points of her shoulder blades, it all was visible. He hissed in a sharp breath. “Siha?”

“You couldn’t really get to my shoulder through my shirt. You wouldn’t wear a shirt for a massage.”

He. . . supposed that was true. However, human females had breasts that while being used in the feeding of offspring were also considered sexual. He lacked them. Female drell lacked them. Human’s did not.

He fought the desire to roll her over, to see them, to test their weight and see if they were as soft as he suspected. When she wore just her shirt, no armor, they moved as she did and captivated his attention.

Thane shoved away the thought as he came forward, as he knelt on the bed beside her as he had before. This was a good sign, right? It said she still trusted him, still wished them to be close.

Closer than he had expected, but still, he would take what he could get.

Thane set his hands on her back, and while the muscles again danced beneath his fingertips, she didn’t flinch. She didn’t retreat or pull away. If anything, she pressed up against his touch.

He focused on his task, hands rubbing over her shoulder, over the muscles as he used their names to calm himself. Deltoid. Trapezius. Down to the Latissimus dorsi. He used the facts to try and keep his thoughts on the job and off all the skin he wished to press his lips to.

A soft moan derailed him as he pressed into the muscles on her back, near her side. He repeated the action, wanting to hear the sound again, and she rewarded him by making that soft, throaty moan.

Those moans made a soundtrack as he worked loose the muscles in her back, in her shoulders, her waist. He again, as he had the last time, moved to her feet. A louder moan left her lips when he dug his fingers into her instep. He chased the sound, pulling more from her as he rubbed against her heel, her ankles, desperate to hear each gasp she released, to picture them in other circumstances.

Each one pulled apart his defenses, made him feel less and less like some detached professional and more like a lover.

He moved up her calves, feather-light strokes over the backs of her knees causing her to shiver. When he reached her thighs, however, he couldn’t pretend anymore.

His breath had turned heavy, his massage shifting into sensual touches that he could not claim to be innocent. Still, her breathing hadn’t evened out, hadn’t given him any indication she slept.

When his thumbs pressed into the muscle on the inside of her thighs, she parted her legs. It wasn’t a blatant spread, but it was an intentional move. The edge of her shorts had ridden up to show the curve of her butt, so close he could run his fingers over it.

“Siha,” he whispered as if she could help him, to try and explain how close to temptation he felt. If this were a game, she needed to stop playing.

Jane didn’t roll, didn’t move. “I’m not asleep now, Thane, so this isn’t just some dream. I want you, I have for a while, and I think you want me, too.”

He continued the massage on her thighs, working his way up them slowly, trying to use the familiar action to distract him. “You don’t mean that. I understand loneliness, but we have little future. I have, at best, a few years left.”

“Then let me have those years.” Jane went to move, but Thane set a hand on her back to keep her still.

He didn’t want to have to look into her eyes when he spoke, when he tried to make her understand. “It would not be giving you those years, it would be stealing them. It would be selfish to take them for myself, to make you waste them with me when you could spend them with someone who you could spend the rest of your life with.” He moved his hand to the outside of her upper thighs, fingers slipping into the leg hole of her shorts, to stroke up toward her hip. “If I did that to you, then in five years when my illness has taken my life, you would be alone again with nothing but heartache to show for it. How could I do that to someone I love?”

She did roll that time, pushing off his hand and slipping hers behind his neck. “And if we don’t do this then in five years I’m still heartbroken, not only over losing you but over everything I didn’t get that I wanted, over losing all the things with you I want.”

He allowed her to pull him closer, his head resting against her forehead. “What do you want from me, siha?”

“Whatever you’ll let me have,” she whispered, lips brushing his as if asking, offering, but refusing to take what he might not want to give.

Thane allowed himself a moment to think. All the reasons he’d avoided this washed away in the face of the future they could have. Perhaps not a long one, but that didn’t make it unworthy. He’d spent a few short years with Irikah in the scheme of things, yet he’d cherished it. Would Jane feel the same? Would she look back and find gratitude for the years they could have together?

Thane gave in. He gave into her, to what he wanted, into whatever kept drawing them together. His lips stroked over hers in a soft kiss, in a testing taste of the passion between them.

She responded without the hesitation, her arms sliding up and around his sides, pulling him closer. His weight settled on her, his chest pressed against her breasts, the warmth of her body chasing away the chill he never could shake any other time.

He broke the kiss and lifted a hand to cup her cheek. “You’re sure? You must be sure.”

“I’m not sure of a lot of things, Thane. My life changes so fast I pretty much just try to keep up. You though?” Her fingers tightened around his side as if to drive home the point. “You, I’m sure about.”

A smile spread over his lips at the conviction of her voice. He offered another kiss and figured if she could be certain, who was he to argue?

 


End file.
